For all of us with radio sets at home. isn’t annoying when the slightest touch of the dial during the middle of your favorite song turns it into white noise? Ang hirap kayang hanapin ng mga station na gusto natin.
I guess that’s how it is with friends. A simple nudge of the dial to just the right frequency and you light up and become so much more animated in your conversations. It’s as if at that particular moment in time, your thoughts just connected. That’s enough to put at least a smile on your face. Finding someone who truly understands you without hesitation or confusion is really quite a joy to behold. Because it’s that hard to find people to relate to, at least in my case.
No’ng high school kasi, I was able to find a great circle of friends after a while, but due to personal differences and our differing paths and divergent decisions, we didn’t last that long. For the most part though, I felt that some people misconstrued my ambition and outspokenness as something of intimidation and conceit, which in turn, made a lot of my classmates detached, disenchanted and evasive of me for a while, unfortunately.
Kung dati, sa ibang friends at schoolmates ko, I seriously had to “tone myself” down and seemingly silence the geek and AmBoy within me. I avoided talking about academic things or rambling on about this kind of philosophical concept with my other friends, because they enjoyed too much in talking about their latest victory in some repulsive computer game or who they saw when with who at the mall. I tried my best to curb and hide my American accent, lest I be thought of as someone mayabang. Because of my yearning to fit in and assimilate, it was if I denied myself of who I really was. Come college though, all those walls I thought I needed to reach out and to protect myself were toppled and rendered unnecessary and nonexistent by my new school’s open-mindedness.
One of the things I love about my current school (the University of the Philippines) is that, no matter who or what or where you’re coming from as a person, parang makakahanap at makakahanap ka rin ng taong sasakay sa mga jokes at random thoughts mo. You’re bound to find someone. I feel so free and so at ease in my school because every one is so diverse and insightful, so much so that you see a bit of yourself in them, but through their eyes, you learn so much.
Oo, aminado ako, minsan, weird o malabo talaga akong kausap, pero meron at meron pa ring mga kaibigan na darating na kayang-kaya akong sabayan at intindihin.
I’m so thankful that nowadays my signals are understood, the reception is clear and that I hear more than shallow white noise.